My Life: Henry Cheng $31.95

Everyone was just so happy.

Six-year-old Henry wasn’t sure exactly why, but the people around him seemed more cheery than usual. Someone had just shaken him awake from his afternoon nap, and his mind was still reminiscing of his warm yellow blanket. And so he sat dazed, wondering what the commotion around him was about. This awkwardness continued for around five minutes, until Henry finally decided that it’d be best if he resumed his nap. So he dropped unconscious. But moments later, his obnoxious mother woke him up.

“HEEEENNRYYYY!!! WAKKKEEEE UPPPP. IIITTT ISSS YOOUURR BIRRRTHDAYYY!!!!” Henry was reminded of the Discovery channel he had been watching earlier that day, when the ostrich would scream incessantly when it was chasing its prey. Thus, like what any targeted prey would do, Henry activated his natural defensive manoeuvres. He began flapping his arms wildly, eyes still closed, in a desperate attempt to thwart his predator.

Henry’s efforts were futile. He was dragged to the living room, where the cheery people were still celebrating. He was just about to throw a tantrum, when some birthday cake was abruptly shoved in his mouth. Things suddenly became much better for Henry. He now understood why everyone was so happy. The cake was simply delicious! He yelped a cry of immense pleasure, and then proceeded to be cheery like the people around him. He stood up and performed a happy dance ritual, swinging happily back and forth to the music. Oscillating, back and forth…




Henry was still swinging, weightless in the air. But he had somehow he had warped into a playground. He was swinging on some child variation of a zip-line. It was amusing. He’d walk to one side of the playground, grab the device, and swing across. Repeat. Walk across. Swing to other side. Repeat. Henry chuckled with ingenuous glee. Then, however, on the third time, something went awry. After swinging on the zip-line continuously in the same fashion, Henry thought it would be interesting if he tried something new. His mother had always taught him the ancient Chinese proverb 不入虎穴焉得虎子, which meant “nothing ventured, nothing gained”. So he set out to abide by these principles.

Upon some deep contemplation, Henry finally decided he would attempt to swing with full speed on the zip-line and let go midway. His logic was that if he was fast enough, he could possibly hit the ground hard enough and bounce off to the moon. Coincidentally, he had been watching E.T. the night before, which is probably how he thought of the stupendous idea.

His first attempt was futile. Henry got sand in his eyes, and rocks in his bleeding knees, but this did not deter him one bit. His mother has also once taught him, 如果一開始你沒有成功試再試 (if at first you don't succeed try, try again). Henry’s determination was only further fuelled by his initial failure. So he got up and gave his plan a second attempt. This time, something magical did happen! Despite failing to fly to the moon, Henry discovered that his left arm had mysteriously morphed into a bent shape! He excitedly ran to his mother to share what had happened. Halfway there however, the pain hit him like beam of scorching laser.
…Moments later, screams echoed across the playground. Henry had fractured his arm, and his parents were rushing him to a hospital. Henry never believed in proverbs after this incident.

The car ride to the hospital was excruciatingly painful. Henry writhed in pain, with cold sweat dripping from his brow. “Oh my,” Henry’s mother exclaimed. “That’s a nasty shade of purple.” Henry fainted.




When Henry awoke, he was in the middle of a road. He adjusted to his surroundings. It was a crisp sunny day, and the school bell had just rung. Children were flooding out from the school doors. As the children walked by Henry, some stopped and stared, with their mouth gaped open. Again, Henry was struck with confusion. Why were people treating him so peculiarly? Then he noticed a red Volkswagen parked awfully close next to him. And then he observed his contorted leg. Gosh, it was nasty shade of purple.

At that moment, Henry had an epiphany. It seemed like the bright sun had all of a sudden focused entirely on him. He could even hear the angels in the sky singing a D major chord in perfect harmony. Henry had just realized that he got hit by a car. He felt really anxious for a moment. But then Henry realized that he didn’t have anywhere to go on such a fine afternoon, and that he really couldn’t go anywhere anyways with such a disfigured leg. So Henry lay down on the pavement to wait for an ambulance. Somewhere far away, a dog barked.